My Dear Family of God,
I really don’t know where to start with this blog. As the leaders said to me last Wednesday, “A lot of things are about to change… just be patient.” They really weren’t kidding. A lot did change, and more than the leaders probably knew. As you and people around the world have been praying for us, AIM has been praying for direction on our team and where to go from here. I was told by Scott, one of the head leaders, AIM has never had a death in the First Year Missions Program, the program that I am in. There are no manuals, no quick, “Ten Easy Steps to Get Over Greif,” manuals.
In this time of AIM trying to decide what to do with our team, tough decisions have had to be made. This morning, three of my team mates left to go home because of different circumstances, and were told by one of my old leaders from last semester, Christina, when she landed Sunday afternoon to be with our team. They left this morning at 7AM, and they are missed by our team.
If you haven’t heard, noticed or been counting, our team has been getting extremely smaller. Nicole and Victoria leaving to go home to be with their family, Sarah is now gone, and the three that left this morning has left only six of us to possibly continue on with the work we started here in Port Elizabeth. Leah has been staying with her family this past week, “her family came to visit her here in South Africa, and were here before Sarah passed away,” which leaves only five of us and our three leaders from our team.
After deciding to have the three from our team go home, AIM also decided to send the remaining half of our team and the Jeffreys Bay Girls to Cape Town with a friend of AIM named Tom to process and lead us in the right direction of grieving for our beloved friend. All day…. “well… the longest nine hours of my life…” we drove from Port Elizabeth to Cape Town to spend what might be a week here. While us students will be processing with each other, the leaders were given a complete break from us to rest and get through some of their own grieving.
For our PE team, time will also be spent in seeking God’s will for our team. Most of us jump back in forth between the ideas of staying or going home. Our team is so small, and our time is so short that for some, their time very well could be done here. I realize, as they do, that the last month we have, “which now at most, only two weeks of ministry left,” will be spent saying goodbye to our ministries, friends and church family. As one of my team mate mentioned, this only prolongs saying goodbye. This time will especially be spent seeking Dad for the answers.
And questions are faced like, “What if three of the students are called home while the rest of us are feeling called to stay here?” or, “What if some of our leaders need to be home, and some are left here? Can students be left with some of the locals to finish out the work?” or, “How do we continue on and try to function when half of us are gone?” Things will not be the same, even if we do stay. So for this week, we will seek Dad’s will. Please pray for us as all these things are accomplished.
The point of the matter is, some of these things we have faced will not be easily fixable. For me, I don’t think I will be completely back to normal when I get home. What I mean is, I think I will still be broken over Sarah’s death when I come home. Emotions are not like bruises or scrapes that are healed quickly, emotional wounds are the kinds that have the capacity to stay with you for the rest of your life.
Personally, I now lean more to stay here, and really feel called to be with the youth at FireHouse, to return to Doreen’s orphanage and help steer them in a direction of healing. Four weeks can be a lot of time with Youth, and I really need to be here for them. I only wish I had more time.
Pray for us now as we seek God’s face for the future. And in the mean time, thanks so much for all the encouragement you have given me, and I love you all. Keep Sarah’s family in your prayers. I believe her funeral in Minnesota will be Wednesday. Also pray for the parents of me and my team mates, as they all break for us in different ways. Thanks so much.
Love,
Andrew
PS The funeral here in South Africa was very beautiful, and you wouldn’t believe how many lives Sarah touched at our church. They all love and miss her.
