Merry Christmas to my Dearest Family at Home,
How has everything been going at home? Everything has been pretty good here, perhaps a little sad. If y’all didn’t know, this last week was debrief week. A lot of our time was spent resting, focusing on the past, remembering what God had done in our lives, and saying goodbye. All in all… I would say this last week was full of laughter, and full of tears for everyone. I celebrated my 19th birthday with all my team-mates and then went to a restaurant for dinner with my Phase 3 buddies. So I think this blog will probably be pretty short, and mostly about what was going on in my head…
Monday was mostly spent moving from UCSA to a house by the river in St. Francis Bay. The house was so huge. All 36 of us easily fit into that house. I got to sleep on a queen size bed… which was fabulous, we had a TV and cable, which we haven’t had a television since we have been here in J-Bay, and we all seemed to be more together because we were all in the same house.
In the evening, the leaders asked us to write down our most favorite things that have happened over the past few months, then our least favorite things that have happened. Then we talked about all of them. During the meeting, it came up that whenever you go anywhere on a mission trip, you always expect everything to be cool and great, but the truth is that there are sad moments, depressing moments, or heartbreak that happens on a trip like this. There is still more memories of gladness and joy to come, but also moments of sorrow and grief that are still yet to come as well. We are only about halfway through the trip, and there is still so much more work to be done.
Tuesday, the leaders had us fill out this series of questions asking us how we have seen growth in us, how much we have learned on this team, thinking about the times when God used us, our feelings towards leaving, our biggest challenges on the trip, and our favorite day on the trip. After filling these things out, the separated us into little groups to discuss the question given then present. I was asked to present what the biggest challenge I have had to face. I of course said homesickness, and I think I explained it a little to you in my last blog, so you can go there for more detail because what I told the group was basically the same.
Wednesday was my birthday!!!! It was a very nice day. After our morning session talking about goals, they took those of us who wanted to go to a cliff diving place north of J-bay!!! First off, I have never gone cliff diving before, let alone swimming on my birthday. It was so much fun!!!! I jumped so many times from one of the cliffs that was about 20ft. Then I jumped the big one once that was about 40-50 feet high!! Extremely scary, but now that I have the excuse of saying, “eh, I have jumped off a bridge before so this should be a synch,” so it was no sweat… well… it did take me a while to finally jump off of it. But I did it!!! Then when I got back, Third Phase took me out to dinner and we talked about my best year, and my worst year of growing up. They also asked me what I thought God would do with me this coming year. I am excited to see what God does with 19. I am sure He will do amazing things.
Thursday was one of the saddest days of debrief. That morning was spent telling each other what we admired in each other. The thought that we will not see a lot of these people for a long time started to hit us. So halfway through the first part of the session, we started to cry. A little bit later, our crying turned to sobbing. Then we talked about what we felt we needed to tell each other before we left, and how much the group meant to us. It all got so much more personal that we all started to weep over the separation. After the session was semi-over, they told us we could be done, but if we needed to tell anyone anything more that it was our chance. Then I went to a few people holding them close, I was weeping so hard. It was not just like a tear, it was full out vocal chords in it as well where I was crying out loud and just weeping over these people telling them how much I loved them and how much I would miss them so much not having them around. The family I once had was splitting up, and who knows if we will ever see a few of these people ever again in our life. I have said this so many times, it is probably my year quote, “Being a missionary is so hard, mostly because it is full of saying goodbye…” which is so true. I have learned how hard change is for me. The people I love will soon be on other teams, and I truly can’t imagine not having them around. It is one of the saddest thoughts I could ever think of.
We spent that night together as a team again, and watched one of Brittany’s Rap videos, “which if I haven’t said too much about how much I admire and love Brittany, I will say it now because she is always full of joy beyond understanding, she always makes you laugh all the time, her laugh is so contagious, and she is not afraid to get embarrassed, which is probably why she is always going full on out there, just wacked out all the time… hehe.” We then watched a video of all our pictures, which was so much fun to watch. Then we watched a confession video, which was also to die for, just the funny things people have done living together…. Oh my gooness… It was such a good night, we all just adored that night. After the video, we went outside and had a campfire, which officially ended the Awakening part of our journey, ended our first semester here in J-Bay, and started Christmas break which will last until January 6th.
Friday was spent packing, and saying goodbye. Luckily none of the guys are leaving, I can’t imagine not having them around anymore, I know I will miss them so dearly. I think I will spend a brief moment talking about how much I love the guys I am with.
Blair- He is the oldest on our team. To me, he is such a great role model. I truly love that guy, I could not ever fully speak as highly as I would ever want. He is just a good example of what I want to be… someone who doesn’t settle for easy solutions or answers, maturity beyond years, knowledge beyond my understanding, yet realness that is unreal. Could I say that I want to grow up to be just like him? He was always there to listen to me, to challenge my way of thinking, to make me want more and more from Christ, to really try to understand what this Christianity thing looks like. I think of all the guys, I will miss him the most. He is truly an inspiration to all the team, and especially me. I pray and still pray that this is not the only time we will spend together, and that we will someday be on a mission trip together again, but for another time… “Hey y’all… lets all start trying and ask God to send him to Kenya with me next year!!! Maybe if we pray enough, God will just have to give in and make him come with me….. he he… just kidding……… um…. Well…..partly J!!! Hehe”
Davie- He is one of the finniest and yet most sarcastic person in our group. Not only is he black, “which seems to give him that something extra being the only black one on the team,” but he is also cool. He lived in New York….which I think according to my best friend Mary at home, would make him amazing. He is learning like the rest of us, and God is sure using him on this team. I am sure that he will do amazing in Swaziland… and Mrs. Ingram… he still picks on me, so you probably owe him another pep talk…..
Ryan- He is defiantly the earthy one on the group, so close to nature. He had dreads that I have helped him with over the past two months, “which should have only taken a month… I might just have to really think harder about whether I want to put in that much work for my own dreads…and I don’t think I will get any because they take forever to put together.” He is so wise as well… just gives a perfect example of how to treat others. He gets so much joy in God’s creation, and would easily sleep out in the woods all by himself for the rest of his life if he could… which I could never do. I think by the first night I would freak out and cry about how scary everything is, and then run back to marmy….which I can really see myself doing. He is so cool, and I will miss our times of dreading his hair for long periods of time while we talk about everything.
Matthew- well… not much to say about him… JK Hussey!!! He and I are both going to PE, “which I would like to remind you is not Physical Education… he might like that stuff, but I do not,” and already we act like brothers. He beats up on me, and I beat him back. He steels my food, and I steel his. You would think for being such a quiet person he would be quite a bit different. Maybe I brought that out on him, I have been mean to him before… but that is okay. As the girls on the PE team say, “Oh goodness, they act like brothers.” I think we will have a fun time together in PE, if he still wakes me up in the morning and doesn’t wake me up at 4AM in the morning when he gets up… “all right… maybe he gets up at 6AM… still too early for me.” We will have fun together.
All in all, all the guys have been amazing to me. I have felt so blessed to be with them. I think the hardest part about saying goodbye to them is that all my life I have needed them. I have always looked for a group of guys that could love God and each other. I needed them to help heal to wounds in my life, to be the group of friends I never had, to be the accountability that we all still need, to be there for me in the hard times, to see what love looks like in a group of guys. I am truly blessed by all of them, and I can’t imagine my life without having them on this trip with me. I will miss them terribly.
Gladly, there are no goodbyes with them yet, and thank God we all have 2 last wonderful weeks to spend with each other. I love them all so much. Well, I think I have written too much yet again this week. I should probably get off this top bunk before Matthew gets back and kills me for writing with his laptop on the top bunk…. Farwell Y’all!! Have a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!! And don’t forget why we truly celebrate this holiday. Love you all!!!
In Christ,
Andrew
